Mind Matters - Part4 - Relationships and Communications

As human beings we are involved in many relationships in our lifetime. We have relationships with our bosses, sometimes good and sometimes poor. We have relationships with our children, partners, friends and relatives. All these different relationships have periods of growth, enthusiasm, and strength. At certain times however, they can become unstable creating a source of despair, grief and distress.

It is during this time that the individuals in the relationship may use coping strategies that are not adequate to deal with the situation. Such as an increase in conflict, verbally, physically or emotionally. They may turn to alcohol or drugs as form of support to deal with the pressures and stress that accompanies most relationship breakdowns. Often, in intimate partner relationships, the people we spend most of our time with, there exists individual issues that are making an impact on the relationship. For example, a spouse might be experiencing a work related stress, or some other outside pressure that he or she is trying to deal with. Sometimes this can become overwhelming for the individual, especially if they are struggling to work things out for themselves.

Generally, this will have a negative impact on the relationship. Communication between the partners is often the first thing to be affected. In any message that we want to get across to someone, there is always a sender and a receiver. If one of the parties is sending a message that is unclear, then chances are the receiver is not picking it up correctly either. The core to improving relationships, especially if one of the parties is experiencing outside issues, is to try and open up the communication channels again.

Some ways to improve communication:

Make a time to talk without distractions- after kids are in bed, or go out together where you are alone and can give each other undivided attention.
Always take turns to speak and don’t interrupt the other person or speak over them.
Sit down together and with good eye contact focus on what the other person is saying.
If it is an issue that is causing distress in the relationship, make a time to discuss just that. Try to solve the problem rather than labelling or blaming the person, and try to stay calm.
Try to be as honest and assertive as possible. A powerful way to enhance communication is to divulge your true feelings behind your actions to the other person. Tell them exactly how you feel and why you think you feel that way.

This is only one area that can be addressed when relationship difficulties arise. Increasing quality time together, and learning some problem solving skills will also enhance relationship satisfaction.

	' MIND MATTERS' by Janet O'Donnell 'Mind Matters' written by Janet, was published in a 4 part series in the 'The Dayboro Grapevine'. Part 4 - Relationships and Communications - a brief overview
	As human beings we are involved in many relationships in our lifetime. We have relationships with our bosses, sometimes good and sometimes poor. We have relationships with our children, partners, friends and relatives. All these different relationships have periods of growth, enthusiasm, and strength. At certain times however, they can become unstable creating a source of despair, grief and distress. It is during this time that the individuals in the relationship may use coping strategies that are not adequate to deal with the situation. Such as an increase in conflict, verbally, physically or emotionally. They may turn to alcohol or drugs as form of support to deal with the pressures and stress that accompanies most relationship breakdowns. Often, in intimate partner relationships, the people we spend most of our time with, there exists individual issues that are making an impact on the relationship. For example, a spouse might be experiencing a work related stress, or some other outside pressure that he or she is trying to deal with. Sometimes this can become overwhelming for the individual, especially if they are struggling to work things out for themselves. Generally, this will have a negative impact on the relationship. Communication between the partners is often the first thing to be affected. In any message that we want to get across to someone, there is always a sender and a receiver. If one of the parties is sending a message that is unclear, then chances are the receiver is not picking it up correctly either. The core to improving relationships, especially if one of the parties is experiencing outside issues, is to try and open up the communication channels again. Some ways to improve communication: Make a time to talk without distractions- after kids are in bed, or go out together where you are alone and can give each other undivided attention. Always take turns to speak and don’t interrupt the other person or speak over them. Sit down together and with good eye contact focus on what the other person is saying. If it is an issue that is causing distress in the relationship, make a time to discuss just that. Try to solve the problem rather than labelling or blaming the person, and try to stay calm. Try to be as honest and assertive as possible. A powerful way to enhance communication is to divulge your true feelings behind your actions to the other person. Tell them exactly how you feel and why you think you feel that way. This is only one area that can be addressed when relationship difficulties arise. Increasing quality time together, and learning some problem solving skills will also enhance relationship satisfaction.